2:53 PM
Today hasn't been bad. I've been productive for most of the day, calling clients and finalizing projects. I knew today was critical, so to keep my head in the game, I haven't checked my bank accounts to see the balance. I don't want to know the balance but I do know that I need to generate some revenue. Clients owe me money, so I've been collecting payments all day. I could never understand how people can waste money and go broke...until now.
The weekend is coming and I'm glad it's filled with planned activities. My ladies are calling me because they haven't seen me in a few weeks and I want to see them. One of them wants to see me today and she's tempting me with sweets. Dessert is a wicked temptation for me so that means she'll be seeing me later. I want to see them all because I miss them. They each have special qualities about them that I adore and not just sexually. I pray for mine and their forgiveness everyday. What concerns me is that I don't want to stop being involved with them but I know I need to. My prayers are sincere in the fact that I want to do better but I know in the end that I will sin again. Telling them I don't want to see them again is something I don't have the strength to do. Primarily because I know that I will call them back and ignite the flame again.
What's worse is that I don't have a reason to cheat. My marriage has been troubled for a long time. Over half of the time we've been married has been stressful. But now, we are in a very good place and I don't have any reason to stray. Yet I do...and I do it without thinking twice about it. It's almost as natural as breathing.
Hopefully, when I finish today's entry later this evening, I will have fought off the temptation to see Number 3.
John Smith
7 comments:
john--i may be way off, but this blog sounds like a fishing expedition for another mistress or several. i've got all sorts of recriminations and judgments i could throw at you, but if you are really an asshole you won't care, and if you are really as troubled as you seem the last thing you need is judgment.
maybe start by reading "the 4 agreements" ? if you are serious about your 7 goals, it's alot to take on at once, is it very realistic?
meant to leave my address, you can respond if you need to
It's VITAL for you to know that you cannot fix your life yourself. You HAVE to let someone you know in on everything. Everything. I suggest a pastor or a professional counselor.
Jesus Christ CAN redeem your life. But you have to be willing to come clean about it all. You will never change unless you get real help.
Hi,
I'm picking 7 random pepple to tag. You sound like you could use a feiend. I've tagged you.
John,
I have read your posts and most of the comments. For me the book is still out on you. I am not sure if you’re for real or just trying to make yourself feel better by laying it all out.
If you are for real, this blog could help others, not just you. I always try and see the best in people, therefore I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I see this site as very promising, therefore, I am presenting you with an encouragement award. Just follow this link. http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com/2007/11/promising-blog-award.html
I also feel that my site could be of benefit. I am in the process of posting a series of installments on an “Empowerment Process” that could be of benefit to you. You can check it out at the following link: http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com/2007/06/process-are-you-prepared-for-success.html
where'd you go?
Come back! What's the latest??
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